Another McSweeney's Rejection

(caution: swearing ahead)

Blog-to-eBook deals of the future

Rules For My Unprocessed Human Slave
Shit My Sentient Weaponized Transport Says
Look At This Fucking Fleeing Human
I Can Haz NutrientSludge?
Stuff Processing Droids Like
This Is Why You Will Be Ruled For Millennia By Your Own Creations
Fuck Yeah Human Tears


Live Free or Die

I think the biggest lesson I've learned as I've gotten older is that you cannot free people. They must free themselves.



Somewhere in between running an improv school, doing shows, teaching classes, surfing the web, playing Torchlight, playing Mega Man 9, playing Baldur's Gate, playing with my kids, something something something with my wife, I finished my novel. It's a straight up Fantasy novel. No wizards or elves or what not but it does have "Swords with Names", one of the biggest cliches ever. Still, I think there are a few interesting ideas in there and few more buried in those. I like to encrypt ideas within ideas. I aimed to make the book superficially good but then if you put a bit of work into it (I mean minimal) you get a little something more out of it. Good novels have that so I aimed to write a good novel.

I both like it and despise it. Started in 2001 in my spare time, the bulk of it written in 2002 when I was laid off, interrupted rudely by two kids, then edited and revised during my second redundancy in 2009. I'll submit it around. With zero expectation. The best possible outcome would be for someone to ask to see something else I've written (or will write). Actually getting published seems like fool's gold.

Do I try again? I have three ideas. Not sure I like any of them...



The fight scene I've been struggling with for years. The one I've delayed writing until this final revision. The sequence of one of the two BIG FIGHTS in my book is finally falling to my fingers as I write it out.

I've got 4 other fights scenes that have been in there since the beginning and though they have been revised twice, this is one has read for years as:

== fight here, 1000 wds

I've had the idea to resolve it for a couple years but it's only gotten unlocked tonight. English soccer reports. Sports journalism in the UK makes for great inspiration when writing phony medieval sword fights. At least, a really well written match report does for me.

I've got my 1000 wds and probably have another 250-500 to go. But I'm on my way. Oh, it feels nice.

Just looking back through my archive, I started writing preliminary material in mid-2001. The first draft of the first chapter shows a date of Jan 21, 2002. I'll finish this in just under 8 years. Just two chapters to go.

Then on to the rejections!


From The Rejection Pile

I was thinking of the Senryu today when considering forms of poetry that are pleasant to write. I remembered learning of them from McSweeney's (one of my fave online destinations) and their Senryu contest. I liked my entry even though they didn't.

I silence the scream
from the devil's digital face
nine more minutes.


No News is Bad News

"News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress; all the rest is advertising."
- Alfred Harmsworth, Lord Northcliffe (1865-1922)