McSweeney's Rejection Is Your Gain

FAQ for Four-Year-Olds

Q1) Why?
A1) Because Mommy needs a break.

Q2) What's that?
A2) This drink has bubbles. You won't like it.

Q3) What's this?
A3) Put that down!

Q4) Where's Mommy?
A4) She went out with her friends.

Q5) Cookie, please?
A5) Fine. Here.

Q6) Is it my turn now?
A6) No, it's still Daddy's turn to watch something.

Q7) Are you ok?
A7) Yes, Daddy's just sad because his drink is empty.