6.16.2008

It's Still There

I was out with some friends last night and my kids came up. It's inevitable that the topic of my kids comes up though I try desperately not to involve them in every damn conversation. But it's tough since they are so central to my life.

Later on in the evening I was asked, more or less, if I saw a lot of the kids. I was a little stunned. I replied, incredulous, "Are you asking me if I'm divorced?" "Um, yes," came the reply. I really didn't know what to make of the question. But I explained that I was still happily married and all was cool with the world. It really caught me off guard and I managed to surprise myself with my initial overreaction.

What was it about me that prompted that question? Is there a rumour? The woman who asked me only knew me incidentally. Where did that come from??

It was only at the end of the night as I got ready for bed that I remembered that I don't wear a wedding ring. She must have looked at my unadorned hand and drew a totally understandable conclusion. I shook my head at myself for being such a social idiot (yet again). I didn't clue in until hours later because, to me, I do have a ring on my finger even if it's physically absent.

I was married at 22 and now at 32, well, let's just say the ring needs to be re-sized. I haven't worn it for months now, maybe even a year. I don't really miss it. I hate rings. If it were up to me, my wife wouldn't wear them either (wedding ring included) I like her hands and rings just get in the way. And I've quietly appreciated the fact that she hasn't asked me to hurry up and put it back on. It barely gets a mention. It's kind of like I'm reminded every day of why I love her by not wearing the ring. But I do intend to get it fixed and put it back on at some point, I'm just in no rush.

But getting questions that imply I'm divorced is good motivation to move on it.