1) My female counterpart recently bought a book called "The Happiest Toddler On The Block". I only caught the title at a glance and I thought she was reading "The Stupidest Toddler In The World". I really, really want to write that book.
2) I've had a post title in my head for weeks now but I'll never really get a chance to use it: "Soylent All These Years". God, I pray Tori Amos eats a corpse.