3.29.2005

When I Went to New York

It started at the Comedy Cellar in NYC, one of the most awesome nights of my life. Partners in crime: Alex, Clare, Tasha.

The stand-up is just starting his routine when a thug and his posse walks in and sits at a booth towards the back. Not long after, thug starts shouting at the comedian. It's hard to hear what he's saying over the comedian but he's loud enough to draw the comedian's attention.

Thug: Hey! Yo' face is tight!
Comedian: What?
T: Yo' face is tight!
C: My. Face. Is. Tight?
T: Yeah!
C: What? What does that mean?
T: It's tight. Like Skeletor.
C: It's tight... like Skeletor??

The comedian started riffing off his face being tight and then, sensing that this guy was gonna be way funnier than anything he had to say, started quizzing him.

C: What's that around your neck?
T(he's wearing some generic gold medallion, oh, and he's started puffing on a cigar): It's a pie.
C: A pie? A whole pie?
T: Yeah!
C: You're wearing a whole pizza pie around your neck?
T: Yeah.

Comedian surrenders and tries to start up his routine again. Enter guy in the front row.

Guy: How tall are you?
C: What? What the hell is going on tonight?
G: Six foot? Six two? You're tall.
C: I'm a tall guy.
G: So how tall?
C: What, you want to know who's taller, me or you?
G: Yeah.
C: Get up here.

And the comedian pulls him onstage and they do a height check. The comedian is taller. The bit ends and he tries, once again, to do his act. A joke occurs to him.

C: You know... if my face is tight like Skeletor, does that mean you can have a face loose like Orko?

Alex and I die laughing. The crowd gives him a good laugh.

C: What the? I get my biggest laugh of the night on an Orko joke?

He tells a couple jokes and then says goodnight.

Coda:
Alex, Clare and I do a quick improv scene on Broadway for Tasha so we can say we performed on Broadway. Later on, I discover Hot Cocoa and Cognac, the greatest drink ever invented.

I'll never forget that trip.