1.12.2005

Telephone Adventures

I can recall two phone calls in my life very vividly.

-Phone call #1: I'm 16 and playing around on my computer.

Hello?

Hi. Is there a [me] at this number?

Yes, speaking.

Oh! Man! It's me, Jonathon! From Vancouver! I can't believe I finally got a hold of you!

Who?

Jonathon. From elementary school!

Uh... Hmm... In Vancouver?
[Note: I lived in Vancouver from age 5 to 11]

Yeah! Jonathon! We used to hang out all the time! We used to be best friends!

Uh, wait. Jon? From school. Oh yeah! Wow. How did you get my number? Where are you?

I'm in Montreal! My family moved back here! I found you in the phone book. We should meet!

Yeah, sure.

Are you a virgin?

What?

Are you a virgin? Have you had sex yet?

Uh... No.

Oh man! You totally should! It's amazing!

Uh...

Anyways, we should meet. I'll call you back

Ok.


He never did call back.


-Phone call #2: I'm about 20 and sleeping.

Muh, helomph?

(Indian accent) Baji? Baji, is that you?

Hrmph? What?

Baji! What do you want for your birthday?

Huh?

What do you want for your birthday?

(finally waking up) Uh, I think, uh, you have the wrong number.

Baji?

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.

What do you want for your birthday?

Excuse me, you have the wrong number.

Baji?

This is not Baji. You have. The wrong. Number.

Baji?

No, this is NOT Baji. Wrong! Number!

Not Baji?

No.

Baji?

There is NO BAJI HERE! YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!!

Oh sorry. (click)