To everyone who did a seach for "lumps in forearms" or "ultrasound" or "lymph node" and found a site called Corpse Countdown, I apologise for likely causing your heart to skip a beat. I can assure you that I'm doing just fine. Well, unless you're reading this at some point in the future and I actually am dead. But that was probably from a bus accident or a trapeze malfunction or a swarm of flesh-eating ants or just plain geezer-related causes.