To everyone who did a seach for "lumps in forearms" or "ultrasound" or "lymph node" and found a site called Corpse Countdown, I apologise for likely causing your heart to skip a beat. I can assure you that I'm doing just fine. Well, unless you're reading this at some point in the future and I actually am dead. But that was probably from a bus accident or a trapeze malfunction or a swarm of flesh-eating ants or just plain geezer-related causes.



I have been called a vicious and harsh person several times and I think it's true. I believe that most people are vicious and harsh to one another, either in the shadier corners of their mind or, even worse, behind the back of those whom they savage.

My personal motto has always been to never say anything about someone I wouldn't say to their face. I guess my problem is that I don't actually mind being vicious to a person (friend, foe or stranger) and will say what's on my mind. I have always had a distinct lack of tact and it's something I continuously work on. I now try to keep my mouth shut when I think I'm about to say something unnecessarily vicious.

I will still tell people how I feel regardless of how they might react to it if I feel it's relevant to the discussion at hand. I don't fear personal repercussions from my actions or words. I'm not in high school anymore and I like to think of my friends as grown-ups. This inevitably leads to people calling me vicious and harsh. I can't say that it bothers me. People are vicious, me included (me especially?), and I prefer honest brutality to fake smiles when it counts.


It's Well Past My Bedtime

With a baseball bat, I could change the world.

Not for the better, mind you.


So Die, Already...

Tomorrow's my 29th birthday and today I was asked if I was worried or freaked about turning 30 or getting near it.

Not at all. I could turn 30, 40, 50, 120, whatever. I've done most of what I wanted to do. I feel I've gotten more out of life than probably 90% of the rest of the planet. How can you complain about that? I've achieved all of my goals, everything else from here on in is pretty much icing. I'm writing a book and I would like to get it published so, yes, it is a goal but if I don't get it published, I won't feel like a failure. I wanted to get my degree, then I felt I wasn't finished so I got my Master's. Then I wanted to be in an improv troupe, I did that. I wanted to find love, I did that. Kids or no kids, doesn't bother me. Book or no book, whatever.

I do feel guilty that I'm not dedicating the rest of my life to help other people less fortunate than me. I still want things. Mostly just a big TV. Can't really explain it. I am willing to spend three grand on a TV. How dumb is that? I can't justify it to myself but I know that I'll do it. I want to do some charity work, but do I do it? Nope. Not an ounce.

I've lived for myself long enough. I need to find it in myself to live for others now. Then I will consider myself an adult. Sadly, I'm not there yet.



By Ernie the Fork in fark.com's forums:

This just in: Homo sapiens draw boundaries on maps, organize into racial, religious, and political groups and inflict harm and suffering on differing groups for the first time in humanity's history.

Pretty much...



I like living in a country where you can actually use political means to achieve your goals. There is no need to take hostages, no need to blow people up, no need for fear in the streets. Other than an awful few months, the recent debate over Quebec's status within Canada has actually been an exchange of ideas rather than an exchange of gunfire, with the final decision resting in hands of the populace itself.

You might disagree with the implementation but it's hard to argue that the process is uncivilised. The fact that I am surrounded by a population (for the most part) willing to live and implement their ideas, no matter how radical or divisive or even destructive, in a political sense, through democratic means heartens me to no end. Are we an exception? Clearly. But it gives me hope that it's feasible. You can convince people to fight with ballots not bullets.