5.18.2004

The thin edge of the wedge

I am very appreciative of being alive. It seems pretty unlikely that I would be to begin with. It just seems to me that the most logical state of the universe would be that there is no universe. Maybe that's just my lowest-point-of-energy rationale speaking but it's harder to go lower in energy than no energy.

Matter seems unlikely; why couldn't it just have been space? Physical laws exist, too. Why isn't it just pure chaos? That's messed up. From those crazy physical laws, against the run of entropy, here we are. Sure you can have locally complex systems while the greater system retains its overall chaos but come on! This is just stupid. Consciousness? The acme of lunacy. It's a little hard to take the universe seriously. Really, what in blue blazes happened to just not existing? Was that too boring, too cliche?

It's mind-blowing to have what we do have for as long as we do have it. I don't even want to try to understand, I'm pretty sure it's beyond me. I'll just enjoy the ride. Thanks, universe.