4.23.2004

So over the weekend I was accused of settling. Settling for a wife who did not satisfy me. Now, is it true that my wife is exactly what I expected when we got married? No. There are some very disappointing elements to our relationship. But I had already spotted this as a potential problem. I had already made the decision that I could live with a total failure in this department. It definitely has not been a total failure but disappointing nonetheless.

So, did I settle for someone was wasn't going to satisfy me? When you get married should you find someone who you are 100% sure of? Total, unadulterated, pure and uncut bullshit.

People change over time. When you get married, know that the person you are marrying will not be the same person 5, 10, 50 years down the road. Neither will you be. If you change in different directions then there's a danger that you grow apart. Even if at the time of marriage you did satisfy your partner 100%, how can two people changing over time expect to maintain that. Ludicrous to the highest degree.

And then there's the ultimate fallacy. There is no one that can satisfy you 100%. Just forget about it. You can find a ton of people who will satisfy you 50% of the time. It's probably a log scale as you go up in percentage. My wife and I have a relationship that is well, well, well above any expectation I could have for any theoretical relationship I would have with some other woman. But, no, she does not satisfy me 100%. If those are your expectations, I don't think you have a good understanding of how people work.

So, did I settle? For the best thing out there. Sure, I'll take that.